Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

Your wedding ceremony is the most important part of your big day.

Your celebrant led ceremony starts your beautiful day and is a way of sharing your personal love story with friends and family. It will be so much more personal than your Registrar ceremony where you are required to use certain legal wording and have no choice in the wording you can use.

See some useful tips on how to write your wedding vows below, and some further ideas here, for when you are ready to get started.

 

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1. It’s your day, your way with no restrictions

One big part of your ceremony is the exchanging of your vows and rings. In a celebrant ceremony, there are literally no restrictions and this is where I encourage you to become a little creative. The exchanging of your vows is the moment when you get to really express your love, friendship and commitment to one another using words that are truly from the heart and meaningful to you both so you can go to town and be as expressive as you wish.

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2. The most important part of your ceremony

The vows and ring exchanges during your ceremony are the only time when you speak out loud as a couple so it’s important that you spend time on creating something which is heartfelt and sincere, yet also light hearted, personal and fun and to declare realistic promises which you hope you will hold true to for your lifetime together.

Writing vows isn’t something which comes naturally to many couples and it can seem daunting voicing your love to your partner in front of friends and family. It’s difficult to know where to start and this is why I’ve listed a few points below to help you get started and I’m happy to help in any way you want.

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3. Are you going to share your vows with each other before the ceremony?

Firstly, decide whether you are going to share your vows with each other before the ceremony or whether you wish to keep them as a surprise and let me know your decision so I don’t include them in any draft scripts I am emailing to you. By not sharing your vows beforehand means your ceremony can feel more impactful and emotional on the day.

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4. What type of vows do you want?

Decide on whether you want your vows to be serious, informal or humorous. You have completely free rein on this. I always think that it’s nice to incorporate a little bit of everything to make sure your vows include all aspects of your relationship.

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Getting Started

Firstly make a list

A blank piece of paper can look and feel daunting so initially just jot down some bullet points of all your thoughts about you as a couple and you as an individual. Make notes on the following: 

What do you love about your partner and what do you not love but will learn to put up with!!

What are your aspirations as a couple?

How do you currently see yourself as a couple e.g. the strengths in your partnership and possibly your weaknesses which you want to work on.

Think carefully about the promises you want to make to your partner and make sure they are vows which you can realistically promise.

The above notes are now the starting point for your vows.

Remember at some point in your vows to make sure you say those three important words ‘I Love You” It’s surprising how many couples can forget to use the word ‘love’ in their vows!

You may wish to share personal anecdotes.  It’s so much more interesting for your guests to hear some odd quirks and personal moments and don’t be afraid to talk about the highs and lows in your relationship.  If you feel there is a tough patch which you have come through together, then you may wish to mention this in your vows and don’t feel embarrassed to do so.

Remember to make your promises realistic.  Vows aren’t just cute anecdotes, they should be a promise, and a commitment that you are making in front of close friends and family and which you can realistically promise to keep.   However, that doesn’t mean they need to be too serious.  Remember, your ceremony should leave you and your guests feeling uplifted and happy.

Embrace the sentimental side of your relationship.  Don’t worry if you feel you sound cheesy.  If your words are heartfelt, trust me they will sound perfect on the day.

Remember to have the ability to make you and your partner smile with your vows and even laugh out loud if you want to.  Your guests will then also be smiling and laughing with you.

You may be inspired by a certain quote from a favourite book, song, film or poem.  If so, use this as a starting point for one of your vows.

Remember you may wish to have some religious content in your vows or a biblical quote.

Once you have drafted your vows, it’s a good idea to read them out loud and practise them a few times so that you don’t rush them on the day.  Nerves always makes us speak faster and when you have spent valuable time writing your vows, you want your guests to hear what you are saying.

Finally, remember that writing promises to your loved one should be an enjoyable process – don’t let it become a chore.  Give yourself plenty of time and don’t feel you need to write them in one sitting.  Go back to them when your mind is fresh if you are struggling to think of what to say. 

I would suggest that you have your vows finalised three weeks before your wedding day so that you don’t have any last minute pressure.  I always print your vows out ready to hand to you on the day.  It isn’t realistic for you to memorise your promises when excitement and nerves may get in the way.

Good luck and enjoy putting pen to paper and expressing all that happiness and love for each other.

Mike and Becca at The Matara, Kingscote

She helped us relax and feel confident the ceremony would go smoothly

Ruth was amazing from the start and we very much trusted her advice and experience. Being professional and friendly she helped us relax and feel confident the ceremony would go smoothly and had the significance and meaning we wanted. We loved our ceremony and Ruth allowed us to make it exactly what we wanted, including hand fasting and our dog being the ring bearer. We would highly recommend Ruth to everyone. Thanks so much for being a part of our dream wedding.

Mike and Becca

The Matara Centre / 2021

James and Kirsty at Twyning Park

You played such a special part in our day

Thank you, thank you, thank you Ruth. It was so easy to work with you from the initial meeting to creating our bespoke ceremony and thank for the idea of including our little girls in a sand ceremony. You played such a special part in our day, worked incredibly hard to make sure everything was just right for us and we couldn’t be more grateful to you. You are a wonderful lady who we are so glad to have met. Thank you again for everything.

James & Kirsty

Twyning Park / 2019

Sarah, Martin and Baby Arlo at Whitbourne Hall

Blown away by how personal and sentimental the ceremony was

Ruth. We wanted to say a HUGE thank you for your part in our wedding. The ceremony was just incredible and everything that Ruth orchestrated from start to finish worked perfectly. We received lovely compliments from our guests who were blown away by how personal and sentimental the ceremony was. It was our pleasure to work with Ruth. Thank you.

Sarah and Martin and baby Arlo

Whitbourne Hall / 2021

Frankie and Ashley at Saxon Mill

Would recommend her to any couples looking for a personable and confident celebrant

Ruth worked with us to create a personal and beautiful wedding.  We received lots of comments about how moving and special our ceremony was.  Ruth is a true professional, who went above and beyond to get to know us and put us totally at ease before our big day.  We would recommend her to any couples looking for a personable and confident celebrant.  Thank you Ruth!

Frankie and Ashley

The Saxon Mill / 2021

Rosie and Tom - Bicester Garden Wedding

Ruth got it exactly right

We wanted a ceremony that was relaxed and Ruth got it exactly right. She incorporated small details which made it really personal. Ruth made sure we had nothing to worry about and was very helpful sending tips on writing vows and choosing readings. We are so glad we chose Ruth and received many lovely comments on our ceremony. We would definitely recommend Ruth as your celebrant to give both a professional and personal touch to your ceremony.

Rosie and Tom

Bicester Garden Wedding / 2021

Holly and James at The Barn at Upcote

Summing us up as a couple perfectly

We cannot thank Ruth enough for the most beautiful ceremony. So many of our guests commented on how personal it was, summing us up as a couple perfectly. It was so special to share our love and our vows with friends and family and Ruth made that possible. Ruth is wonderful and has given us amazing memories to treasure forever. Thank you so much

Holly and James

The Barn at Upcote / 2021

Vicky and Tristan - The Frogmill

We couldn't have selected a better celebrant

Despite the fact we planned our entire wedding from Australia, Ruth managed to prepare and deliver a ceremony that our friends and family commented ‘summed us up perfectly’ and we couldn’t have agreed more. It’s clear from all aspects of the preparation to the Big Day itself, that Ruth is passionate about her work and we couldn’t have selected a better celebrant. If you are looking for a love filled unique ceremony then I would highly recommend Ruth.

Vicky and Tristan

The Frogmill, Andoversford / 2019

Josh and Kirsty - Over Barn

It was beautiful and everyone loved it

Dear Ruth, Firstly thank you so much for the beautiful ceremony you did for us on Saturday. It was beautiful and everyone loved it. Josh and I just wanted to say how kind, friendly and approachable you were from the start to finish. You listened to every word we said and created the most perfect wedding ceremony. We could not have asked for anyone better. Thank you.

Josh and Kirsty

Over Barn, Gloucester / 2019

Laura and Tom - Hilles House

Thank you for getting the day off to the right start

Dear Ruth, Thank you!! Tom and I had such a wonderful day – I enjoyed myself way more than I imagined I would or could. It all felt so relaxed, so thank you for getting the day off to the right start. So many of our friends and family commented that the ceremony was very special and personal. Exactly as we had hoped.

Laura and Tom Steventon

Hilles House, Stroud / 2019

Lapstone Barn

The ceremony was so personal and intimate

Ruth, you conducted a beautiful and personalised ceremony for us at Lapstone Barn, which was the cornerstone of our wedding day. Although we don’t live in the UK and weren’t able to meet you before the ceremony, you made the effort to really get to know us over the phone and made the ceremony very intimate and personal. It was a real pleasure dealing with you. A number of people commented on how the ceremony was so personal and intimate. Thanks so much again.

Helen and Morgan (from Dubai)

Lapstone Barn / 2019

Lapstone Barn

It was such a beautiful ceremony

Ruth performed our Wedding Ceremony after such a long wait due to lockdowns (2 years and 26 days after our original date to be exact). It was such a beautiful ceremony. Ruth was great throughout the whole process and really helped capture us both within her words.

She was also extremely caring and calming on the day when we were getting super stressed about one of our wedding party guests being late! Thank you so much Ruth for making our special day so perfect. 1000% recommend! ❤️

Jen and Darren

Lakeside Ceremony at Fladbury / July 2022

Ready to begin?

Call me to discuss your ceremony on

07736 039705

or send me a message and I will get back to you.